By Adolfo Quezada,
copyright Quezada 2007, used with permission
Then he asked us to pair off and ask each other the same question repeatedly. As I sat there listening to the question over and over again, myriad thoughts and feelings bounced around within me.
All of a sudden the responsibility for love was being placed on me. I realized I had always taken a more passive attitude toward love, letting it happen rather than fostering it and contributing actively to it. Perhaps I had envisioned love as some magical cloud that floated around touching some and not others. Perhaps I had thought love to be just a nice, warm feeling that happened between two persons spontaneously.
Now I was getting a whole new picture. It came to me that love is the sum of the parts each of us brings to the altar of life. I am, as each of us is, a co-creator of love. I felt somewhat uneasy. This mean that I could not just sit back and let love happen. I am a contributor. I make it happen.
The question kept coming at me, not as an accusation or a judgment, but as a gentle reminder that love’s survival depends on me.
“What do you bring to love?” the question pierced my heart as I confessed to myself that sometimes I bring nothing. Sometimes I expect love to survive in spite of my neglect or the abuses I bring upon it. But love is like a garden that needs to be nurtured and tended to lest it wither and die.
“What do you bring to love?” The question assumed that I was to bring something, and it focused on the “what.”
As I pondered the question with my eyes closed, I envisioned myself as the little boy in the story of the Littlest Angel. The little boy was invited to celebrate the birth of the child of God, but he had nothing to offer as a gift. He finally remembered an old shoebox he had stashed under his bed at home, in which he had collected a piece of string, a bird’s nest that had fallen out of a tree, a couple of bright marbles, a dead butterfly, a special rock, and a few other “treasures” he had found along the path of his short but full life. The little boy decided to give his box, which was all that he had, to the child of love. The little box turned out to be a fine gift indeed, and became a shining star above the earth.
I envisioned myself bringing to love all that I possessed. It was not to be evaluated or quantified; instead, it would be unconditionally accepted.
What do I bring to love? I bring my poverty in which I crave love and fear it at the same time. I bring my wounds, my grief, and my tears that come from losing those whom I love. I bring an acceptance of who I am, just as I am, that allows me to love myself. I bring a tremendous need for love, a need that can only be met by love. I bring forgiveness and the willingness to love even through the suffering. I bring faith in God, the source of all love. I bring peace, kindness, and respect toward differences and appreciation of otherness. I bring courage and perseverance in the face of the difficult and painful consequences that sometimes come from living a life founded on love.
“What do you bring to love?” Like the little boy in the story, all I can bring is what I have, but what little I have is everything in the eyes of God, and it helps to light the world.
Reflection Questions (added by Joni):
1. What memories came to you as you read this article?
2. What do you think of the idea of giving yourself second chances regarding regrets you may have for times when you have not understood what it means to foster love?
3. As you bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself, are you able to forgive those in the past and present who have neglected to nurture love? Who comes to mind that you might like to pray for?
4. In what specific, new ways does the wisdom in this article help you understand the true dynamics of love?